What pains me each day is seeing them getting hostile to me without even telling me the reason why. 'cause on my part, I didn't know what I did for them to act like that on me. I've been good to them since. It's THEM who were just blinded of their childish games and ideas.

Children

What's with James Soriano? He can say such because he might have grown up in a well-to-do family. He's too imprudent when he said he thanked education for making English his mother tongue. He was a total jerk with that statement. Was he born with both parents from the "outer space"? No, he's not. So, he should and must, learn Filipino and appreciate its uniqueness. It doesn't mean he can't translate bayanihan, tagay, and kilig exactly to English that he'll despise the Filipino language. My gad!

Can't sit down and write. :'(

Carpe Diem!

AUGUST 27, 2011 -- A post-celebration of the Teacher-education Division governor's birthday, achievements of other classmates, passing the midterm exams, and related other celeb concerns of the batch took place at Seafarer's Inn at Sitio Panubigon, Brgy. Sabang, Surigao City.

This day marked my diversion to the things I never do in public: wearing short shorts. sleeveless and backless blouse, and swimming as if the waters by next day will ebb and never come back.

I celebrate the new-found freedom. Religion has prohibit me to do things normal gals do (but I don't put any regret with the denomination I am in).

Turn out this eventful day--I am the photographer of the group, which, I am glad than to be the poser. Haha. Anyways, all is well to several violations I remarkably did this day.


~Merdolyn :)

At least once in your life, divert from the usual things you do. Explore the world, get out of your shell and see what you'll get. Curiosity may good at times but it pays to try when you know it will not harm you any.

Caring is like a balm that soothes the pain.

Mga Tula ng Lalaking Na-In-Love *part II

Aanhin ko ang popular at mapormang babae
kung nabo-boring ako kung siya ang kasama.

Aanhin ko ang sobrang sweet na babae
kung hindi ko ma-feel ang ginagawa niya.

Aanhin ko ang pagpapa-cute nila
kung wala naman akong balak pansinin sila.

Dalawa lang ang alam kong dahilan
kung bakit 'di ko sila magustuhan:

Mahal na kasi kita at sayo lang ako masaya.

~~~~~
Hihiramin muna kita ngayon sa panaginip,
dahil sa panaginip lang ako may pag-asa sa'yo.

~~~~~
Ako sa'yo'y nag-aabang;
Ako sa'yo'y naghihintay;
katulad ng isang bata na umiibig.

~~~~~

The only battle I can't win: the constant war within.

You can't eat PRIDE instead PRIDE will eat you.

You can't eat PRIDE instead PRIDE will eat you.

Open your heart to the realities of the world so you'll see what mere eyes can't.

Mga Tula ng Lalaking Na-In-Love

Mapupulang labi,
Nakakaakit na mga mata;
nakahuhumaling na ngiti,
halakhak na nakakadala.

Oh magandang binibini
Sa bawat sandaling ika'y kasama,
puso'y sumisigaw at maligaya.
Ang maging akin ka ay isang tagumpay na maituturing
pagka't pilit binabaon ng puso ko
sa utak ko ang katagang "Pangarap lang kita."

~~~~~

Sa tuwing nag-iisip, ikaw ang naaalala.
Sa tuwing tulala, ikaw ang nakikita.
Kung titingin ng mga larawan,
mukha mo ang pinagmamasdan.

PUSO! Muling umiral at hindi mapigilan.
Isang binatang umiibig, nangangakong hindi mananakit.
Ikaw ang pangunahing dahilan
kung bakit 'to naramdaman.
Atensyon ko't pagtingin, lahat sa'yo ibabaling.

~~~~~

Ayan!
Ipakukulong kita
sa salang pagdadala ng deadly weapon:
makatunaw na tingin,
pamatay na ngiti at nakakp-psycho na tinig.
Meron Pa!
Trespassing ka!
Bigla-bigla kang pumasok sa puso ko!
Hindi ka na makakalabas
dahil 'yan ang selda
sa kaliwang dibdib ko.

~~~~~
These are my colleague's poems composed in his desperation for love. Or should I say, because he's "intensely" holding someone so dear. I was encouraged to post this because it's unusual these days for men to write poems to someone they have a thing about or keenly observes with.

To Geferd Entendez Gonzales, as promised, here are your poems. I haven't able to make titles: it's up to you on what will be the titles of your "balak" to her. I hope this girl you appreciate so keenly will also recognize the value of these compositions. Godsend to your efforts!

Merdolyn :)

Don't keep a secret if don't want to be caught busy shrouding it.

"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can." ~Aureliano Buendia, One Hundred Years Of Solitude

Love...and more of it

Ngano ang mata muhilak man?
Gibati ko 'di na kapugngan.
Nganung maghoot man akong dughan?
'di na jud masabtan.
ngano ing-ani man ko ka pobre.
Walay kwarta akong mami ug dadi.
pero gibuhat ko na ang tanan.
Tabang Merdolyn!
ako nag antos na kaayo
walay kwarta ipalit
gigutom ko

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Ms. Merdolyn,

Sa pagkatawo pa lang nato ning kalibutang takos
batok ning kalubihan
aduna koy nakita
hayag pa sa sugang dagitab,
Akong ihalad kining akong kalibutanong kainit
ug kalibutanong kaisog
aron sa dihang idul-it mo ang dagitab
sa imung mga mata
ug musidlit ang kainit sa suga
nga giduyugan sa mga malalang mananap
[sama sa plato ug kutsara].
Hinaot nga ang mga hangin
muhatag kanato'g bili
sa pakigdait
Niining atong gubot nga gugma

Kanimo maalagaron,
Manager

I love it when the sky's clear, the full moon's out, the stars are there, and fluffy clouds are on the sides in the horizon. I remember my childhood and my crazy love.

Frustrated Attempts

How many times? I ran out of fingers to count the attempts. Name it: yesterday, today, and maybe forever. I told myself to quit but there is something within that tells me to pursue it.

2006 when I crafted my first long short story. I had it passed as a project to my Values Education teacher to comply the subject. Raw--never been edited, not even reread. Aye, appreciated. I was in seventh heaven. Then on, I keep writing, inspired by the first attempt's appreciation. I was in my sophomore year in high school that time and was already a contributor writer of the school organ since freshman.

I am never assigned to write in prose or poetry or any of literary genre. Most often, in news and editorials. Nevertheless, that made me an opinionated one.

Later on, I was moved to my junior year and finally, made it to the editorial board--as a copyreader-encoder/lay-out worker. From there, I understand, real writers and journalists know what it takes to be a writer/journalist. Not just mere gathering of facts and make opinions, write features and so on, but it is about the dedication to work and heed on. I tried to be contented with the position I held, yet it's not I longed to have. Keep on, I was a dreamer.

In the School-based Campus Journalism Seminar and Workshop for that year, I happen to win three spots: News Writing, Copyreading and Headline Writing, and Editorial Writing. But when DSPC came, I was placed on Editorial Writing and sadly, I lost. Of the many reasons why I lost it, I am certain, it was because I am not a good one. I call a loser's move.

My last year in high school is another heartbreaking year. I was just placed on the third higher position and no paper was published. I don't know where our funds went but I'm certain, our adviser became tired of writing and editing. But before that, I made it again to DSPC 'cause I still won the same three spots. At the press conference, all of us won and two were not able to make it to RSPC and I'm one of the two. I was sad again because I am placed to the same frustrating slot: Editorial Writing.

In college, I've waited for two years before I was able to make it to the school publication. I ain't good in writing but I call it perseverance and determination. Nothing beats the optimism in me. I auditioned  with my classmate and together, we've made it. An most of all, in my first year at the pub, I right away seized an editorial position. I was glad but along it is the great fear I cannot fathom. So, I heed on, chin up, armed with prior knowledge in journalism and the course I took up, I survived.

Now, it's my final year in tertiary (and in the pub) and still, I haven't written a remarkable piece. It's alarming for me because that made me feel inferior and worthless. When I had written my first news article, there was a flop. I spent a week of mourning over the mistake I've made. I blame myself for being careless. But that was the past and all I hope was I hope people reading it will not see the mistake. Blinded, in other words.

The dream I dreamed has came true. I have now the position I wished to have since I was in elementary. (Got it? I have it in my dreams, even in my nightmares.) I cannot help the 'buts', but I have a very deep fear of something I don't understand.

Three months had passed and I still did not able to finish the story I've been writing. My writing muse keep eluding-visiting-eluding me. To add, this emptiness I have within gives more reasons for my muse to ran away.

I am frustrated of what happened: I expect too much from the people around me, but then they fail me. Whatever their reasons, my mind's still working on it. I cannot deal easily with people who less cooperate and is indolent. Yet, I have to work on my own, balancing academics and pub works. The above mentioned must have add up to the sorts of reasons why I cannot finish that shunned story.

I tried to finish everything (the news articles, the lay-out plan, the resos, activity designs, and all related stuffs) before this month ends. But how will I do it when I wasn't making my way, I already surrender? Pray, I'll make it.

13th Charter Day of Surigao State College of Technology - Surigao City

You can shut my mouth for my whole life, but you cannot stop my hand to hold a pen to inscribe words that would live even up to eternity.

Love doesn't always end up with a happy ending. Sometimes, it ends up with one conclusion. But even though it will end up with bitterness and full of heartaches, we always want to feel it again. Love is pathetic, full of sorrows, lots of patience, millions of understanding, overflowing with pain. It makes our life miserable, makes our life sucks. Love ruins our life. But a life without love is not life afterall.

Is love

We should not
start arguing
to see how brave
a heart is

it can't be gauged
by finger span
outstretch
or face-down

immeasurable

close your eyes so you'll see
lose so you'll win

difficult
befuddling

but isn't it
love's
like this

"I can feel your pain
but I will hand it back."

Of the many men in the world, why you? You who never bother to smile. You who never seem to care. You who never let her go. You who never see me likes you. Of the many men in the world, why you?

They said, once you'll be a graduating student, try to look around you and appreciate what you'll see. But, yes, I see everyone who passes by me and yet I'm not interested. I'm waiting for that someone to pass by and say "Hi!" AND, of all the people, it's him who'll never bother to come along my way. We're on the parallel line--he's there and I'm here. How will he able to see me if he's nowhere to be found? How will we be able to meet since we're not in the same circle, instead, on opposite ways?

Heartless Eloquent

What should I say?? Well, I am disappointed that's why I'm feeling melodramatic again. What a teacher he has been.. no mercy, just insincerity and numbness were all he have. 

 

 

 

I can't help my tears. I am tired, actually but what keeps me moving is the fact that I have to comply his requirements. Though I am tired but I can't do nothing with it. As he said, "That's part of life. Wait until you become."

 

 

 

What if I won't become like he thought we will because of him? Darn it!

 

 

 

Fine! My grade was the most special of all the grades distributed---INC. Mess, splotch of shame.

 

 

 

Sir, just let me pass the subject. You're intelligent, alright, but it doesn't mean, you have to be mean. Just be as you are and don't struggle to compete with other teachers. It's helpless.

 

 

 

Mercy and love should be the two things you should have and give. Will you?

Sayang

Ang gipangandoy kong medalya
tapos ang upat ka tuig nga pag-eskwela,
kalit nga nahanaw
tungod lamang sa project nga nabahaw.

Bisan pa'g ako naningkamot
nga ang gidahom makab-ot,
wala bisan sa kadiyot
nabag-o ang imong pag-buot.

Naguol ko naghuna-huna
nga ang gidahom ni mama
nga sa hinapos akong madawat
imong gikawat.

10 Days to Heaven

If given 10 Days to heaven, I would utilize it to do the following:

1. Visit US’ Library of Congress. I want to be taken aback with thousands of books. Added to that, I want to see how the conveyor belts move to transport books from their respective shelves to the hand of the person who’ll read it. The President’s Book of Secrets is not a exemption, of course.

2. See Mount Rushmore at the Black Mountains of South Dakota.Those big stone-faces were incredibly made and I am interested to see the lake behind these great black rock-carved faces.

3. Go to Guangzhou, China and walk on the longest bridge of the world! Doesn’t matter if it’ll take hours and hours before I’ll reach the other end of the bridge. Seeing the picture’s not enough, experiencing the feeling of being there makes it a satisfying experience.

4. I should see the Holy City in Jerusalem. Knowing that the foundation of Christianity started there, to see the relics is a must.

5. Be awed with the magnificence of Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe, Africa. Even in pictures, the water falls’ so grand!

6. Go to Finland, try sauna and dive into the snow/icy water afterwards. Finland is one of the coldest cities in the world and famous for their Finnish sauna bath.

7. See the royal family in Buckingham Palace.I love fairytales though it only happens to real life at seldom circumstances, but seeing the royal family will satisfy my craving for fairytale stories – that there are real princes and princesses, queens and kings, and all that consist that royal family.

8. Personally see His Royal Highness Andrea of Monacco. My god! His face really looked like that of the pretty face prince in a fairytale! I could die right away if ever, but knowing I still have two days, I wish to extend life and hope he will fall on me and marry me (laughs).

9. Go to Palawan, plant trees, and sign the No To Mining petition.I want to do humanitarian act before I’ll die. At least I have done something useful and important to the Filipino people and to Mother Nature.

10. Set off to his place and marry him. Why not?! Don’t ask me anymore. It’s fine for me to die after the marriage. At least, in my last breath, I am with him andhe is with me. *

*But I still wish to live long so I could enjoy my life with him (giggles).

I feel unworthy and useless.